Here are some more facts to make things more clear and maybe it will help

I won’t be paying a penalty for taking the money as we can get around that because it is a hardship withdrawal due to total disability. So that is a non-issue.

Also, income taxes will be very low due to income not being what is was. ; )

If we own a home we will qualify for tax breaks on money spent for retrofitting and can qualify for grants for certain items for our home up to 80% of their cost. The more I look at this the better it looks. I am certain that the financial benefits of owning and qualifying for breaks will far outweigh any income tax burden placed on us by taking the 401k money.

Also, I have looked into the particulars today and think if this was a plan to go with that I could take a loan on the 401K at 2% interest for up to $20,000 and then only take $20,000 hardship withdrawal. Houses here are actually undervalued and this makes buying a good deal. This would cost me a lot less in income taxes and would have me paying myself back at a very low interest. I would have to play with the scenarios to see which on works in our favor.

Quite honestly I don’t have any real solution other than to buy a house. Renting isn’t something that can be done. It sounds good but in reality it doesn’t work. I wish it did, then I could just leave everything alone. I am really trying to think of reasonable workable solutions.

In short, if I take money from 401K to buy a house I will incur no penalties or taxes, I will own a house outright and I will be able to re-fund our 401K in less than 5 years.

If we don’t buy we will not be able to find a suitable home to rent and we will have to consider placing her in an institution. We would not own a home and would pay rent forever (or until we can buy again), but we would have an intact 401k although without any additional contributions.

When I put it down like this all I can see is that at the end of 5 years I will be in a much better place and we will be able to be a part of our daughters daily live if I take money from the 401k.

Does this all still sound crazy ? Before this all happened when we were working our steps and paying down our debt snowball following each and every step in order make sense to me and since Dave’s plan was working so wonderfully for us I really wanted to stay on track with the plan but I am having trouble now because of our unique circumstances.